Limbo

Today has been one hell of a day.  I know the important bit is the interview, but I'm going to go chronologically, so sit tight for a bit.

I set my alarm this morning for 8am, knowing that I probably wouldn't wake up enough to get up until around 9.  I figured if I was ready to leave by 11, I'd be fine.  The morning did not get off to a good start when I jumped into the shower to discover that all the hot water had been used up, so I had to turn the water off in between soapings to conserve the last bit of warmth.  I know this totally sounds like a #firstworldproblems issue, and I know it's good to turn off the shower intermittently anyway to conserve water, but a hot shower is what gets my day going.  It's meditative and relaxing and invigorating, and a morning without a good shower is a morning that starts out badly.

Bigger problems lay ahead when I realized I didn't really know when the bus would come around.  I had of course checked the schedule online before, but it's very unclear (looking at the schedule, you'd think it only came around 3 times a day--there is no time listed for when it picked me up on Monday, for instance).  So I called and was told that it came around to Eagle Rock and Prospect every hour, and that the next time was at 11:18.  I asked when it was supposed to get to Eagle Rock and Blackburn (because that's the closest bus stop to where I'm staying), and he'd never heard of Blackburn (...?).  So, not wanting to risk anything on the day of my interview, I trekked to Prospect.  It was 10:55 when I left, so I had to run.  When I got to Prospect, something about the bus stop just didn't look right.  You had to turn onto Prospect (the stop was not on Eagle Rock), and I vaguely remembered the bus going straight and not turning.  I was kind of in a bad way at this point--it was freezing cold (and I was wearing an interview-appropriate pencil skirt, blouse, and a blazer), I was out of breath from running, and I had a sneaking suspicion that I was at the wrong bus stop.

At some point, around when 11:18 rolled around, I decided to go back down the street and look for the bus.  I had passed another bus stop just before Prospect, and I thought maybe the 66 might stop at that one (that's another thing--the bus stop on Prospect didn't have any bus numbers listed, so I couldn't be sure that the bus I needed would stop there). Sure enough, the 66 stopped and I kind of frantically got on, half saying to myself, "Are you stopping here?  Can I--do you go to--" (I'm sure the other people at the stop thought I was crazy).  As we departed, I noted that the bus did not, in fact, turn onto Prospect, and if I had stayed where I was, I would have had missed it.

Once I got to Port Authority, I had a quick breakfast and then took the E train to the nearest FedEx/Kinkos I could locate (I could have walked, but it was 12 blocks and I didn't want to waste any time).  The place was ridiculously hard to find; in fact, if I hadn't asked like 4 different people for directions, I just simply wouldn't have found it.  It was hidden in the basement level of a hotel, all the way down at the end of a long corridor next to a business meeting room.  Luckily I was the only one in line when i got there, but the guy behind the counter seriously could not have gone any slower.  I chose a paper type and he printed 4 different copies of my résumé (none of which looked very good) before I finally had to settle on one because it was already 1:20 and I still had to get back on the subway to get to Milk.  I hurriedly paid for 10 copies, and rushed out the door and back onto the E train.

By the time I got to Milk, it was 1:50.  Keep in mind that I had been running (literally, running) from place to place all day... so if any single part of my day had taken any longer, I would have been late.  I quickly took a moment to brush my hair (it's crazy windy today), adjust my clothes, and take a deep breath before walking in and going up to the second floor where I was to meet my interviewer.

Now!  The interview.
The interview... was strange.  For one thing, I was in and out of there in less than 15 minutes.  The building itself is beautiful--unassuming from the outside, but the interior is very chic; lots of brushed steel and exposed brick, big neon typography art on the walls, and bald bulbs hanging from the ceiling as a dim, atmospheric light source.  Also, everyone I saw in the building was young--20s or 30s at most.  My interviewer was no different; he was kind of a lanky hipster type in a jean button-up shirt with a beard and a beanie.  We sat in the lobby area, and he asked me only one question: "So tell me about yourself."  I introduced myself as an aspiring fashion photographer who had recently graduated from a college in California, I gave him a rough idea of what my plan was in New York, and explained why I wanted to work at Milk and what it was that I would like to do there.  When I finished, he explained that there were day shifts and night shifts, and briefly outlined the difference in job responsibilities, and then told me to email him around Friday with my availability for the next week.  He said we would do a couple of "trial days," and that we would "go from there."  In answer to my question concerning any kind of timeline from an internship to a paying job, he vaguely answered that most people use Milk as kind of a jumping off point, and that time spent in an internship differs from person to person.  Some people get a job within the company after a month or so, others take longer, still others meet photographers through their internship that they then work for.

He was about ready to go when I asked him if he wanted a résumé or anything, and he said "Oh, yeah that'd be good."  So I handed him one along with one of my leave-behind booklets.  He glanced over my résumé, nodding, and seemed pleased to discover that I did have some experience with Profoto gear and other equipment.  Finally, he reiterated that I should email him, we shook hands, and I was off.

So basically, I was not rejected, but I'm not officially an intern yet either.  I'm kind of in a weird limbo state, and I probably won't have an idea about what the job will be like or what my status with the company is for another week.  I suppose I should be excited that I'll be coming back for these "trial days," but it's hard to get excited when everything is still so indeterminate.  Even the one question I was sure would be answered today (the timeline thing) doesn't really have an answer.  So I'm a little frustrated because I feel like I left in such a rush to get here because I thought I needed to, and now that I'm here, everything has been moving excruciatingly slowly.  I'm used to going to interviews and being expected to be able to start working that day (or the day after at least), but now I've got another 4-5 days of... of what, exactly?  Job hunting I suppose, but I've been so focused on Milk this whole time that I don't even really know where to start, and it's hard to apply for other jobs when I can expect to be asked for availability--and I won't know that until I settle things with Milk.

I'm writing this from a Starbucks about a block down from Milk (it's the first thing I did after the interview).  I've been here for about 2 hours now, and I haven't really had a proper meal today, so I suppose I should take care of that (don't worry, I'll find something more nourishing than Starbucks).  So I guess that's all for now.  I'm not sure I'll have much to report in the next few days, but we'll see.